20-something woman holding puppy: Don’t bite that, that’s my sleeve. (pause) That’s my pocket. (pause) Those are my boobs. Only my boyfriend’s allowed to bite those, fuzzbutt.

–43rd & 10th Ave

Hipster dog walker sitting at bench with dogs talking to Beagle: You’re an asshole, you know that? You don’t want to listen, that’s why you’re an asshole.

–Chelsea

Overheard by: Yeah…that dog doesn’t understand you.

Crust punk to dog: Left. (dog turns a little after her) Hard left!

–Tompkins Square Dog Run

Overheard by: Hc

Female owner to poodle in full-leg plaid pants, bright yellow doggie sweater, and propeller beanie: You like your clothes, don’t you? Yeah!

–86th & Amsterdam

Overheard by: Ladle