Bag lady asking for change to kind person who gave: Thank you! Can I ask – do these headphones make me look rich? Cause I need my music when I’m out here.

–23rd St & 9th Ave

Aggressive panhandler to passing bald guy: Hey, Kojak! Help me out here! Who loves ya, baby!

–5th Ave & 12th St

Overheard by: Richard Nixon

Drunk hobo arguing with another: I’m done talking to you. I can have a better conversation with the door. It just goes bing-bong.

–Uptown A Train

Overheard by: Amanda White

Hobo to suit: Look at you, playing with yourself! That is gross, you are disgusting… You can’t fight, you can’t dance, and you can’t fuck!

–7th Ave

Overheard by: scotty 2

Hobo to college students entering college: Don’t go to class! Smoke crack, like me!

–Hunter College Lex Entrance