Woman on cell phone: When we break up, what’s he gonna do, take the fuckin’ lawn, too?

–Merrick Blvd

Overheard by: Luki

Guy on steps to other: If you want a divorce, bitch, you gotta die! (pause) Til death do us part!

–9th St & Ave A

Fat lesbian to another: If I break up with her, she is going to sodomize me with a fork.

–Mullane’s Bar and Grill, Brooklyn

Woman to man: I mean, when women are dumped they die immediately. Scream, cry, throw things, eat. Then rise again like the phoenix… only slightly fatter, and move on.

–Olympic Flame Diner

Overheard by: Liz Reddick