Guy on cell: 150 cabs wouldn’t start this morning. They all had bananas stuck in the back of ’em!

–Cooper Square

Overheard by: Kay

Tourist woman trying to hail a cab: Excuse me. I was here first, and have been trying to get a cab for at least ten minutes. Please go somewhere else. It’s only polite.

–Broadway & Houston

Overheard by: office peon

Lady on phone: So there we were in the cab when she just vomited all over the place. I mean it was all over the door, all over the seat, all over everything. So the cabbie, he slams on the brakes and he gets right out. And I’m thinking okay, he’s gonna put us out. I don’t know where in the hell we are and its four in the morning… And Krystal, she just says to him, after vomiting all over the back of his cab, “I told you to get us there fast!”

–Bolt Bus

Middle aged woman to cabbie who just bumped her with the car: You should not hit people.

–34th & 5th

Overheard by: Duh