Hipster chick #1: …So I was giving this guy a handjob and he wasn’t circumcised…it was so bizarre looking.
Hipster chick #2: I know, isn’t it so weird? I’m all like, “What am I supposed to do with that thing at the top? Touch it, play with it, leave it alone?”

–5th & A

Girl #1: I just saw a bum peeing on 88th Street.
Girl #2: Was it big?
Girl #1: I didn’t notice. He was a bum. Even if he had John Holmes’ cock, I wouldn’t touch it with a ten foot pole.
Girl #2: Was it big?
Girl #1: Not really.

–6 train

Overheard by: Matt Montini