Jew­ish-amer­i­can man turns to his wait­ress (in bro­ken span­ish): “I need a span­ish girl­friend for 3 months“
Wait­ress: “we don’t have that on the menu“
Man: “but I’m get­ting di­vorced and am go­ing to be very lone­ly soon, plus I need some­one to speak span­ish to.”

–Katz Deli