Old Jew­ess: That Suzanne Somers has some nerve. She is writ­ing an­oth­er di­et book. I have a friend who has read all her di­et books and every year she gets fat­ter and fat­ter.

–Mu­sic Box the­atre, West 45th Street

Frat­boy: She was like an ug­ly Paris Hilton, but not rich.

–C train

Over­heard by: nico­lette

Guy: I’m gonna beat you like an Olsen twin.

–68th & Colum­bus

Over­heard by: An­drew Zar

Teen boy: Yo, I heard that Tu­pac was named af­ter a Jew­ish hol­i­day.

–Red Hook

Guy: Yeah, you know, that’s the great thing about the Kennedys: they get $1 off of every bot­tle of Scotch that they buy. You know, be­cause their dad was a boot­leg­ger and all.

–52 & Lex­ing­ton