Guy: My eyelashes have decided to declare war against my eyes.

–12th Street & 6th Avenue

Overheard by: E. F. Schubert

Woman: All I wanted was some sunflower seeds and I wound up with my face on a milk carton.

–41st & 5th 

Overheard by: rebecca h.

Teen girl on cell: So I finally talked to him and I was like, “Do you have any safety pins?” and he was all, “No!” and then I was like,
“What about all the ones in your face?”

–Red Hook

Overheard by: linda