Merchant Marine guy #1: Did you hear that there are like 75 swiss cheese deaths a year?
Merchant Marine guy #2: What? What do you mean?
Merchant Marine guy #1: It’s really rare, but sometimes there is a chemical reaction and the cheese blows up in people’s stomachs.
Merchant Marine guy #2: That has to be the worst death ever.
Merchant Marine guy #1: Or the best if the guy really loves cheese.

–LIRR