Mer­chant Ma­rine guy #1: Did you hear that there are like 75 swiss cheese deaths a year?
Mer­chant Ma­rine guy #2: What? What do you mean?
Mer­chant Ma­rine guy #1: It’s re­al­ly rare, but some­times there is a chem­i­cal re­ac­tion and the cheese blows up in peo­ple’s stom­achs.
Mer­chant Ma­rine guy #2: That has to be the worst death ever.
Mer­chant Ma­rine guy #1: Or the best if the guy re­al­ly loves cheese.

–LIRR