Man on cell: I have two pho­bias. The post of­fice and the li­brary. And you want me to go to the post of­fice for you?

–Uni­ver­si­ty & 10th

Col­lege girl #1: What do you think is the sad­dest emo­tion or feel­ing?
Col­lege girl #2: I’m not sure, maybe fear.
Col­lege girl #1: Yeah, that’s a good one. Ya know, if we lived in Ethiopia you would have said hunger.

–71st be­tween 2nd & 3rd

Over­heard by: Lizz Tooher

Girl: Yeah, I al­ways wear black…I’m, like, scared of col­ors.

–El­e­va­tor, Par­sons School of De­sign

Guy: Yo, that Ham­bur­gler’s a scary moth­er­fuck­er, ’cause you nev­er know what that nig­ga be sayin’. He be all “rob­ble rob­ble rob­ble rob­ble” and shit!

–23rd & 6th

Over­heard by: Ta­co­log­ic

Woman: Holy crap, you scared the hell out of me. What are you sup­posed to be any­way, Her­cules?
Man: I’m Thor. Mighty son of Odin.

–N train