In­di­an chick: So I was watch­ing VH1 and it was a show about child stars. You know, Drew Bar­ry­more, Jodie Fos­ter–
Asian chick: What? Jodie Fos­ter was a child star?
In­di­an chick: Yeah. She was a child pros­ti­tute at like, 13, and they made a movie about it and every­thing.

In­di­an chick: Look­it that chart. They’re rank­ing con­doms, see? Tro­jan Mag­num, then Reg­u­lar Tro­jans, then Tro­jan Ul­tra Sheer, then Durex Reg­u­lar, then Lifestyles, and then Lifestyle Ul­tra-Sen­si­tive, see?
Asian chick: Mmm. Tro­jan Ul­tra Sheers, yeah.
In­di­an chick: But Durex has at least one more that should go in there! Durex has a Mag­num too and it’s re­al­ly good.
Asian chick: So yeah, what’s their deal?
In­di­an chick: Like, it’ all about how well they en­dure. Not how much plea­sure they give. Fuck­ing gov­ern­ment chart.

In­di­an chick: Any­way. I’m def­i­nite­ly thinkin’ about havin’ my kids in a for­eign coun­try. Like, dual cit­i­zen­ship. Just take a se­mes­ter off, fly to Britain for a month, and voila.
Asian chick: That’s the cra­zi­est thing I’ve ever heard. What for?
In­di­an chick: They just come out cool­er, that’s all.

–Chelsea Health Cen­ter, 9th Av­enue

Over­heard by: capn mid­nite