Two ho­bos are pass­ing a bot­tle.

Woman: You can’t do that! This is a pas­sen­ger train…The blood of Je­sus Christ! You can’t do that; this is a pas­sen­ger train! You need to find Jesus!…That is the dev­il’s drink. By the blood of Je­sus you need to re­pent!
Hobo #1: La­dy, I am the dev­il.
Woman: You can’t do that on a pas­sen­ger train! If I see a po­lice I will have you ar­rest­ed!
Hobo #2: You wan­na bor­row my cell phone?

–F train