Guy: Hey, have you ever been to Alcoholics Anonymous?
Girl: No, I’ve never been to a triple‑A meeting.
Guy: No dumbass, it’s AA for Alcoholics Anonymous.
Girl: Oh, yeah? Well what does AAA stand for?
Guy: Association…of…American…no, wait…Automobiles? Fuck, I don’t know. It’s for cars, stupid.

–E train

Overheard by: Dan & John 

A guy walking down the steps slips but manages to catch himself. 

Guy #2: Nice recovery.
Guy #1: Easier than rehab!

–22nd & 9th

Overheard by: Ari Fleischer