Guy on cell: Hey, what’s up?…I’m at the Met game…The Mets are up 2 to 1, but Wash­ing­ton has 2 men on and no­body out…Two-one. No outs.
Guy #2: There’s one out.
Guy on cell: Oh, sor­ry. One out. We’ve been here since 8 and I’ve been drink­ing since 8:30. I’m wasted…Listen, Ma, I got­ta go, I’m miss­ing the game.

He hangs up.

Guy #1: My moth­er calls to get the score. Turn on the ra­dio!

–Shea Sta­di­um

Dude: Hey, Car­los! Steal sec­ond, I won’t tell any­body!

–Shea Sta­di­um

Dude: Get off your knees; you’re blow­ing the game!

–Shea Sta­di­um