Bench­warmer #1: Yo man, what is that thing?
Bench­warmer #2: Oh, it’s a Ver­i­zon PDA. It has a typ­ing pad, cam­era, and e‑mail.
Bench­warmer #1: Wow. What does­n’t that thing do?
Bench­warmer #2: Suck my dick.

–Cen­tral Park base­ball field