Elderly woman on cell: Rhoda! Rhoda! It’s Esther! DID YOU CALL ME? NO? Oh, well someone called me! I can’t believe it! Why would someone call me on this thing?! All I want to do is be able to make a call, I don’t want to have to deal with these messages and things!

[Makes another call] NORMAN?! NORMAN? You called me?! Why in the world would you ever call me?! NORMAN? [To the rest of the car] It was my husband.

–Penn Station-bound LIRR, near Jamaica Station