El­der­ly woman on cell: Rho­da! Rho­da! It’s Es­ther! DID YOU CALL ME? NO? Oh, well some­one called me! I can’t be­lieve it! Why would some­one call me on this thing?! All I want to do is be able to make a call, I don’t want to have to deal with these mes­sages and things!

[Makes an­oth­er call] NOR­MAN?! NOR­MAN? You called me?! Why in the world would you ever call me?! NOR­MAN? [To the rest of the car] It was my hus­band.

–Penn Sta­tion-bound LIRR, near Ja­maica Sta­tion