Hipster on cell: You make me so horny I want to split a tab of xstacy and shove it up your ass.

–11th & 2nd

Guy trying to whisper to girlfriend in line: Do not make me freak you this early in the morning.

–Post office, Park Slope

Chick on cell: …so not only am I self-medicating through random sexual encounters…

–In front of Barnes & Noble , Union Square

Overheard by: Carol

Chick to friends: He was like, “Say you love me. Say my name. Say, ‘I love you John*!’ And I was like, “Can we just concentrate on the task at hand, here?”

–Lafayette & Bond

Overheard by: jayloo