Proselytizer: You’ve got to make sure you’re reading the King James Bible. God uses the other ones for conversion, but they’re ten percent less effective.
–Downtown 2 train
Overheard by: Susan Volchok
Mom: Look, this one’s from Jordan and Israel. That’s where Jesus is from!
–Mouse House, Bronx Zoo
Overheard by: LT$
Woman: I’m gonna give him a holy bath and all kinds of things.
–Columbus Bakery, 83rd & Columbus
Pamphlet lady: That’s why you’ve got no power! Where’s the mayor? He’s not Jesus! He’s not coming to save you!
Soccer mom: …and then he asked if he could go to church with Grandma, and I said, “Well, I don’t think so, Ryan*. Daddy’s had to yell at you all night and spank you twice, and only good boys get to go to church.”
Overheard by: God would be proud
Hobo: The Holy Spirit will whup yo’ ass!
Young passerby, to old man entering church: Good luck!
–48th & 8th
Overheard by: Russell Z