Man: I can’t leave my door unlocked in the Barrio. Someone might sneak in and steal all my spices.

–42nd & Ditmars, Astoria

Man on cell: Now why the fuck would you go and eat my ravioli? Dat’s mine!

–42nd & Lex

Overheard by: Danny

Black tween girl: And that nigga bitch Rihanna thinks she can do ballet? Shit! I can do ballet. The only thing I ever seen that nigga do right is eat fried chicken.

–Q train

Overheard by: kb

Woman: I mean, I would have loved rice. We all would have loved rice.

–8th St between 1st & 2nd

Overheard by: Jaya

Chick: The other day I ate a hot dog, and it had a bone in it. I don’t know what animal they make hot dogs out of, but I’m pretty sure they don’t have bones.

–34th & 7th

Overheard by: seth kleinman

Girl: Food is like candy.

–92nd & Broadway

Shrewd observer: He is either in the Army or chews a lot of gum.

–Ludlow & Rivington

Overheard by: pete Lanpr

Lady: There ain’t no way I’m standing in front of a stove all day making tuna salad. It’s fucking hot!

–104th & Broadway

Overheard by: Fatty McFingers

Queer: Oh my God, cottage cheese is albino diarrhea.

–City Diner, 90th & Broadway

Man to child in stroller: What do you want? You want money? Do you want money or a bagel?

–Absolut Bagels, 108th & Broadway

Overheard by: another jew

Chick on cell: …No, not years of porn, ears of corn! Corn, like you eat! 

–Ding Dong’s, 106th & Columbus

Overheard by: Jas

Passionate woman: I just love egg white! It’s like painting to me! The texture, the smell…

–17th & Broadway

Overheard by: Shivvers

Pringles lover: Yeah, he’s, like, all that minus the bag of chips.

–14th St between 5th & 6th

Overheard by: the chips

Big black dude: So tell me, how much would it cost to get a huuuuge jar of mayonnaise, outta state?

–Uptown 5 train