Small girl, pointing at an advertisement for Little Man: Look, Grandpa! He looks like a little man!…He has a huge penis!

–189th St

Braggart: My penis is heavier than a full-sized gruyere cheese.

–Red Hook

Guy dressed as a penis, on cell: If you don’t get down to 14th and 6th in another 5 minutes, this is one dick you are not going to see!

–14th & 6th

Overheard by: Madhu Maganti

Guy: I’d give an inch of my dick for the fries at Les Halles. They’re that good!…Ok, maybe half an inch.

–Park Avenue & 29th Street

Overheard by: 11221

Teen boy on cell: Hey, it’s Big Daddy! You know, Big Daddy! You showed me your penis ring last night.

–Times Square

Overheard by: laura

Woman: Aaah! I’ve got baby penises in my eye!

–Sephora, Times Square

Girl: Ooh, she is going to be in so much trouble. She got caught smoking cock.

–Bed-Stuy