Mod­est hoochie: Yeah, I can al­ways tell if a guy’s a fag or not by whether he checks out my tits.

–Penn Sta­tion

Teenage girl: That’s ’cause Puer­to Ri­cans come up to you and be like, “Hey, Ma­mi, lookin’ hot,” but Do­mini­cans come up to you and be like, “Yo, Ma­mi, you got nice tits!”

–Colum­bus Cir­cle

Over­heard by: er­lin­flask

Woman in tight shirt: I just know, you know, that at some point I’m go­ing to have sag­gy boobs.

–Ave A be­tween 5th & 6th

Over­heard by: Nathan

Guy: I con­tend that if you’re go­ing to al­low some­one to breast-feed in a pub­lic place, then I should be al­lowed to stare.

–Wd~50, Clin­ton St

Over­heard by: Evan

Tooth­less Brook­lynite: I’m sayin’ she used to have some good pussy and some big ole tit­ties. I’m talk­ing dou­ble E‑E’s. And she went to the doc­tor and had them cut off. Her tit­ties was cut off!

–A train

Over­heard by: The Law Pro­fes­sor

Teen girl to moth­er: Maybe I’ll do that. Or maybe I’ll just give my­self a boob job with a rusty but­ter knife and wa­ter bal­loons!

–N train

Guy: Well, it’s not like you can’t say you’ve nev­er had your bo­som in some­body’s el­bow be­fore.

–Stage door, Eu­gene O’Neill The­atre, West 49th St