Mu­se­um pa­tron: Tell me the sto­ry again about what hap­pened to my bot­tom?

–Cafe­te­ria, the Met

Woman to mis­be­hav­ing child: Jamil­lah Fa­ti­ma! Do not make me have to make the love con­nec­tion to your be­hind on the C train!

–Brook­lyn bound C train

Over­heard by: ryan

Girl: Man, it’s hot­ter that 50 butt cracks in here!

–Amer­i­can Ap­par­el, N 6th St, Williams­burg

Idle dream­er: Man…I wish I had, like, 59 butts.

–Ap­ple Store, 5th Ave

Over­heard by: i still sell the iPods

Walk­ing VD: I told her straight up I on­ly like her for her ass!

–Kisse­na Blvd & 71st Ave, Queens

Teen boy: I’m gonna spread your booty cheeks.

–108th & Man­hat­tan

Over­heard by: N

Man: Shit, I’ll eat a pig’s ass if they fry it right.

–471 Lin­coln Place, Brook­lyn

Over­heard by: Michael O’­Con­nor