Hip­ster #1: I can’t be­lieve you went home with that fat NYU chick last night.
Hip­ster #2: Yeah, I was out-of-my-mind drunk. But I to­tal­ly vin­di­cat­ed my­self im­me­di­ate­ly af­ter.
Hip­ster #1: Yeah?
Hip­ster #2: We must have wok­en up her hot blond suit­e­m­ate when she screamed out “Oh my God, fuck me with your gi­ant cock!“
Hip­ster #1: And how do you know?
Hip­ster #2: Be­cause af­ter­ward, she passed out, and I went out to her liv­ing room to have a smoke, and her room­mate came out in her PJs to join me for a smoke. Then I banged her on the couch.
Hip­ster #1: That’s awe­some.
Hip­ster #2: Yeah. The fun­ni­est part was, I snuck back in­to her room when she was passed out and stole some con­doms from her draw­er.
Hip­ster #1: You’re a hor­ri­ble per­son.
Hip­ster #2: I know.

–L train

Over­heard by: Slap­py McGee