Moneybags: I’m thinking about selling one of my sailboats. It got a leak in the dining room, so I figure why not?

–Dock’s Oyster Bar, 40th & 3rd

Overheard by: Greg Rutter

Suit on cell: …yeah, I passed out with one shoe, but when I woke up they were both gone!

–Washington Square Park

Overheard by: ianr