Woman on cell: So he gave me this huge body hug…and he was covered in vaseline!
Overheard by: Fishwives
JAP: Oh my god, I just sneezed, like, all over that girl!
–Uptown 6 train
Overheard by: that girl
Guys walking: I’ve got the most disgusting couch in the world.
–Coffee Shopp, Union Square
Sanitation man sorting through garbage: Hey Vinnie, wanna half hero?
Man on cell: She was shmearing neosporin all over the place.
–Christopher and 7th Ave
Woman: I must say, I’ve eaten a lot of things off the floor today.
Drunk girl: Seriously, is this what it’s come to? My stomach fat covers my vagina?
–Four Faced Liar, West 4th St
Overheard by: pebbles
Man on cell: Well, for the past few days I’ve been coughing up phlegm.
–Citarella, 3rd Ave and 75th St