Dude to tall girl: Hey, you! Girl, in a past life, you musta’ been a grasshopper.

–L train

Man: It’s like going to a bull fight and seeing the guy get gored. I mean, who doesn’t want to see the soprano fall off the stage?

–Fashion district

Fat woman: She’s a fucking buffalo… Her and her ugly-ass self!

–71st Ave & Continental Ave

Overheard by: amused by-stander.

Thug: The more you rush, the more you mess up. You heard the story of the turtle and the rabbit. The rabbit, he hurried and he fucked up. But the turtle, man, he played it slow.

–Union Square

Overheard by: MLK

Nature buff: I haven’t seen a moose since Yellowstone.

–Ogilvy, 49th St & 8th Ave

Mom: Aw, look at how he reacts to you! Maybe one day you can grow up to be an old cat lady!

–PetCo/KittyKind, Union Square West & 17th St

Ghetto chick on cell: Yo! Did you hear about the plane crashing into that East Side building? Yeah! How much do you want to bet that there were snakes on that plane?

–Barnes & Noble, Columbus ave & 67th St