Ham­mered 20-year-old, scream­ing: Yo, I fucked my boss! Yo, I fucked my boss! You ever fuck your boss? [Points to friend] He had to fuck some fat chick and I got my dick sucked all night by my boss! Yo, and she’s, like, 30. [Starts hump­ing pole] She was like, ‘Uh­hh, Jim*, give it to me! Fuck me hard­er!’

He falls on the floor, rolling around with more man­ic laugh­ter.

Friend: Yo, shut up. I got­ta take this train when I’m sober.

–G train

Over­heard by: Please don’t look