Sassy la­dy: Hon­ey, she so lazy… She too lazy to fart, she so lazy!

–Celebri­ty Jeop­ardy tap­ing, Ra­dio City Mu­sic Hall

Over­heard by: La­dy Sean Con­nery Wannabe

Man hold­ing ‘Hun­gry Jew’ sign: Hey, ladies, need a boy-toy? I just fart­ed.

–Lin­coln Cen­ter

Ghet­to Asian teen: Nig­ga, my farts smell like daisies.

–68th & 1st

Class act: Damn! I got gas like a mo-fo, and this cough ain’t help­ing.

–Es­ca­la­tor, 59th St sub­way sta­tion

Five-year-old girl to fa­ther: Ha, ha! I fart­ed on you!

–Mount Sinai Hos­pi­tal

Over­heard by: Steve