Sassy lady: Honey, she so lazy… She too lazy to fart, she so lazy!

–Celebrity Jeopardy taping, Radio City Music Hall

Overheard by: Lady Sean Connery Wannabe

Man holding ‘Hungry Jew’ sign: Hey, ladies, need a boy-toy? I just farted.

–Lincoln Center

Ghetto Asian teen: Nigga, my farts smell like daisies.

–68th & 1st

Class act: Damn! I got gas like a mo-fo, and this cough ain’t helping.

–Escalator, 59th St subway station

Five-year-old girl to father: Ha, ha! I farted on you!

–Mount Sinai Hospital

Overheard by: Steve