Drunk #1: Yo, did you see who was just peeing next to me? Larry David! I think Larry David just sprinkled pee on my shoes!
Drunk #2: So now you’re not gonna clean your shoes ’cause they got celebrity piss on them? Why don’t you sell them on eBay?
Drunk #3: That wasn’t Larry David.
Drunk #1: Yo, then I should kick that guy’s ass for peeing on my shoes!

–Restroom, Cheap Trick concert, Beacon Theatre

Overheard by: Hobo Whisperer