Con­duc­tor: At­ten­tion, ladies and gen­tle­men, 59th Street is next, 59th Street. Every­one have a pleas­ant day. And a friend­ly re­minder: on­ly 10 shop­ping days left un­til Christ­mas! Be fes­tive, but don’t spend your mon­ey all at once! Ho, ho, ho! Al­ways re­mem­ber the three gift-giv­ing rules of Christ­mas. They’re as easy as A, B, C. A: Make a list of every­one you want to buy a gift for. B: Ask them what they want for Christ­mas. C: Tell them, ‘Give me the mon­ey and I’ll buy it for you!’ 59th Street.

–A train

Over­heard by: d, cov­er your groin

Woman sell­ing adult books en­ti­tled Ex­tra-Mar­i­tal Af­fair: Get your books here! Make great Christ­mas presents for your loved ones!

–Penn Sta­tion, 34th St en­trance

Over­heard by: Be­wil­dered

Chick dog-walk­er on cell: I am not do­ing A Christ­mas Car­ol at the Mis­sis­sip­pi Shake­speare Fes­ti­val!

–Payson Ave & Beak St

Con­duc­tor: Lis­ten up, peo­ple! I can’t stress this enough: you on­ly have two hands. If a third one is in your pock­et, make some noise! I’m sure oth­er pas­sen­gers will help you out. You don’t want any­one hav­ing a mer­ry Christ­mas on your hard work. [Long pause, then singing] Jin­gle bells, jin­gle bells, jin­gle all the way! [An­oth­er pause] There are on­ly six shop­ping days left. Ho, ho, ho!

–A train

Over­heard by: he bright­ened my day

Tourist watch­ing erec­tion of Rock­e­feller Christ­mas tree: What’s the big tree for?

–Rock­e­feller Plaza

Over­heard by: B.W. McAdams