Guy: 100 bucks! Can you be­lieve it? 100 bucks and all I had to do was suck on his toes for a while!

–So­ho

Over­heard by: J. B. Pal­ka

Hobo preach­er: You might as well just start wip­ing your ass with your
col­lege diplo­ma, be­cause that’s all they’re good for any­way.

–Union Square