Guy #1: Dude, are you okay? You look ex­haust­ed.
Guy #2: I am. My life is so weird right now.
Guy #1: Still work­ing on the di­vorce?
Guy #2: That’s pret­ty much fi­nal­ized, ac­tu­al­ly. It’s this girl I start­ed see­ing last week.
Guy #1: Wait, you’re dat­ing that hot Russ­ian chick?
Guy #2: Yeah, Svet­lana*. She’s a to­tal nympho — I haven’t slept in days. She won’t leave my crotch alone. Plus, when­ev­er we’re go­ing at it she keeps call­ing me ‘Mas­ter.’ It’s fucked up.
Guy #1: You just lost any chance at sym­pa­thy, ass­hole.

–D train