Three white guys are dressed in prison uniforms.

Huge black guy: Those mothafuckas wouldn’t last a second in Attica.

–Penn Station

Overheard by: acep

Guy on cell: Jeff, it’s me. Quick question — when you get arrested, do you lose all of your civil liberties or just some? … ‘Cause these guys won’t leave me the fuck alone…

–Staten Island Ferry

Drunk Fordham student: Have you ever been in a Mexican prison? You have no idea what it’s like in a Mexican prison!

–Pugsley’s

Overheard by: Rachel Hoban

Lady on cell: He just graduated from culinary school, and he said he got the best job in the class. He’s the chef at Michigan State Prison.

–Broadway & Spring St

Girl, after lady bumps into her: I mean, if God bumps into me, that’s one thing — I wouldn’t say nothing, ’cause that’s God, you know? But she ain’t God, and I’m about to go to jail over her ass.

–Target, Brooklyn

Overheard by: santos