Old crazy guy to little kid: Hey, you want a Vicodin? It’s just like your Ritalin, but stronger. No? Okay, then how about a donut?

–Dunkin’ Donuts, 66th & 1st

Overheard by: Alec

20-something hipster girl on cell: Prozac! Send me my Prozac!

–Bedford Ave, Williamsburg

Overheard by: josh

Waiter to bartender: She was taking a lot of Vicodin. You can’t drink Hennessy with that.

–Village Restaurant

Overheard by: Al Key Hall

Girl, after friend gives her a gift: Awww, you’re the sweetest friend ever! You almost made me cry, except that I can’t cry — I’m on Effexor! Awww!

–Crepe place, St. Mark’s

Girl on cell: It’s gross! It’s sick! I’m not asking anyone for Viagra for my dad! It’s sick!

–President St, Park Slope

Overheard by: Nick Draven

30-ish blonde screaming into cell: Doctor, I’m so glad you called back. No, the girl here won’t give me my pills! She says my insurance won’t pay for any more… Okay, so maybe I lost track of how many Vicodin I’ve been eating — I’ve been busy! Whatever!

–Drug store, Battery Park

Overheard by: embarassed for her

Man on cell: I love Ambien more than I love my wardrobe. Good-bye.

–Angelika Theater

Overheard by: Nora