Girl on cell: Honey, they zapped my asshole.
–Outside Tribeca Grand Hotel
Girl to friends: There’s this boy in my class, and his name is Ash-oh-lee, but it’s spelled A‑S-S-H-O-L‑E, with an accent on the E… His mama named him Asshole!
–Bus, between 77th & 76th
Overheard by: It’s a Jersey thing
Queer on cell: Tell him that if his asshole tingles, he’ll know I’m near.
–Franklin & Broadway
Hobo: It doesn’t take a genius to see it. He’s a flaming asshole who needs to be spanked.
Overheard by: i wish i was a tourist sometimes
Man to friend: He’s a fuckin’ asshole… Even in a wheelchair he’s a fuckin’ asshole!
–9th St & 2nd Ave
Chick: Oh, he’s much better than any other guy I’ve dated… He’s not an asshole, he’s not Type A… My only problem with him is that he’s not depressed enough.
–Amore’s Pizza, 14th St
Overheard by: dues