Sub­way an­nounc­er: Ladies and gen­tle­men, please be aware that there is no V train ser­vice on the week­ends… That’s V as in ‘vom­it.’

–57th St sta­tion

Over­heard by: hero­ine in in­iq­ui­ty

Got­ti-look­ing girl: Yeah, and I was­n’t hav­ing a good time so she was like, ‘Why did­n’t you just get drunk and throw up on him?’ and I was like, ‘Be­cause I’m not gonna stoop to his lev­el. I’ll just have some­one break his legs.’

–LIRR Hicksville

Over­heard by: Sarah

Con­duc­tor: No fight­ing, no throw­ing up.

–LIRR train

Over­heard by: Kris­ten

Drunk frat boy: Yo, man, what’s your poi­son tonight? What do you feel like tast­ing on the way up, bro? Do you want a puke jager? Do you want a puke jager?

–PATH to Christo­pher St

Met­al guy to friend: I’m tellin’ you, if you got­ta throw up you can’t beat pan­cakes and syrup.

–Burg­er King, 34th St

Over­heard by: Glad I was done eat­ing

Irish girl: It was a great night! No one peed in the show­er, no one puked in their purse… None of that ever hap­pened!

–168th & Ft Wash­ing­ton Ave