Lady on cell: Trust me, this is the one time you can pee on a woman and not totally demean her.

–Grand Central

Well-dressed woman holding a McDonald’s cup that her son, pants still around his ankles, pissed into: Nice job, honey.

–14th & 6th

Girl in back row: I really like the new LIRR trains. I never pissed in the old ones, but I licked one once… Oh, and I pissed on the floor of a new one… Yeah, I did.

–Fordham University, Lincoln Center

Overheard by: Wishing my Physics Final Started 5 min’s ago

Pissing hobo: This piss is for Mike Bloomberg. Ahhh, yeah.

–Barnes & Noble restroom, 82nd St