Dude: Well, it would be really nice if I could sleep with your sister.
–Washington Sq South
White girl: Well, if I’m so white, why do I have an uncle named Juan?!
Scandinavian-looking girl: My mama has brothers who were Nazis. That’s why we don’t talk to them anymore. Oh, and because they’re dead, too.
Girl crying and pleading with bouncer after he took her fake ID: But I need that back! It’s my sister’s, and she’s dead!
–Union Bar, Park Ave South
Overheard by: BOB Sled
Loud black chick on cell: Yo, mom, I’m gonna fuck your daughter up!
–H&M, Herald Square
Overheard by: Limey
Chick: I told her if she don’t sign it, I’m gonna dig Daddy up and set him on her porch.
–18th & Park
Overheard by: Tony Jones
Woman on cell: Do we have a conscious grandmother or an unconscious grandmother? … Oh, goood!
Overheard by: white_on_white