Homeless guy dropping cigarettes while following foreigners: A brother drops his smokes and you gets a‑steppin’?! I smoke Newports! You can’t get this in no garage! Hey! Hey! How about givin’ me some money? It’s for the children, for the children!
Lady: No!
Homeless guy to lady’s boyfriend: Wow, there’s evil! So much evil comin’ from this one. You’re good, though, I can tell.
Boyfriend: Yeah?
Homeless guy: Can you feel that? Can you feel that, brother?
Boyfriend: Yes, I can feel that.
Homeless guy: You know what that is?
Boyfriend: No, what is it?
Homeless guy: It’s the feel of the crack of yo’ asshole burnin’! [Homeless guy runs away.] 

–Bleecker, near Sullivan

Headline by: pheeze

Runners-Up:

· “Another drive-by psychic reading from Triumph the Insult Comic Bum” — Angus McIntyre

· “Jesus Is My Roid Cream” — en_ki

· “That Port Hasn’t Been New In Years” — dan

· “The wrong way to hand out Taco Bell coupons” — Jon Trudel


Click here to see the new Headline Contest