Tourist to family: It seems like all we do in New York is take the subway, eat, and wash our hands.

–6 train, Union Square

Overheard by: Ugly Doll

Man on cell: So what can I say? She’s the carpet cleaner and I’m just cleaning the nozzles.

–14^th & 5^th

Overheard by: kat(e)

Dude: With all the nasty stuff I have to do, I shower like three times a day… and I still smell.

–Rivington & Essex

Man in beret on cell: I’m going to boil water and put my DustBuster in it… How do you sterilize your DustBuster, darling?

–7^th Ave, Park Slope

Overheard by: hazelnavet

Bronx girl: And then she said to me, ‘We need to take showers and wear flashy clothes!’

–6 train