Guy on cell: I’m in a… Oh, what’s the word I’m looking for? … Crack-infested neighborhood.

–9^th & 26^th, Queens

Overheard by: B. D.

Disheveled punk teen girl: No! My 72-hour drug binge is starting now!

–14^th & University

Overheard by: rachel

Crazy lady: … So I hung the crack pipe on the cross which gave me the right to say no to drugs… Hallelujah!

–2 train

Overheard by: with a K

Suit on cell: Yeah, I talked to him the other day. Right? I think he turned gay. Or he had a drug abuse problem.

–LIRR

Overheard by: Nick

Lady: I’m ready to yodel! Do I smell hashish?!

–Central Park SummerStage

Fiction professor: I would find writing about investment bankers very difficult because I find them boring when I meet them. I start to like them when they start snorting coke. Then their dialogue becomes much more interesting.

–The New School

Middle-aged lady on cell: I need to start sniffing more glue.

–Upper West Side

Overheard by: Amy Jill