Eight-year-old boy to friend: If we go to college do you wanna be roommates? What college do you wanna go to? I wanna go to Yale. Actually, no, I hate Yale. They have naked parties.

–P.S. 3, Hudson St, between Bleecker & Grove

Overheard by: Joeb

Black dude: Get this — the theme of the party is ‘Bring a white chick.’

–Union Square

Girl on cell: So, how was that party last night? Did you find anything to stick your dick in?

–14^th & 5^th

Little kid: Toga! Toga! Toga!

–Staten Island

Overheard by: Matt Roca

Fat sweatsuit on cell: Order me some wings — I’m ready to party! I said order me some wings — I’m ready to party!

–Steinway & Broadway, Astoria

Overheard by: Queemys Mommy