Girl: I can’t complain because we’re not married — then I can complain all I want.
14-year-old girl to mom: If you had married that other guy I would have been so much taller!
–70th & Lex
Overheard by: Evelyn
Hobo to bystander: You’re gonna marry a woman and not know she’s a government agent? How retarded can you get?!
–Queens-bound V train
Chick: What you’re saying is, he couldn’t afford the wastebasket so he got a wife?
–140th & Broadway
Overheard by: Ladle
20-ish chick on cell: I don’t care! He has chubby fingers… I’m still not going to marry him.
–97th & Broadway
Professor: Will you marry me?! Your father is dead!