Tourist: Why does everyone on this train look so sad? Everybody looks like they’re having the worst day. [To girl sitting next to him] Are you having a bad day?
Tourist: Probably because it’s so cold here. Is it always so cold here?
Girl: No. It’s really cold for March.
Tourist: It’s too cold to go swimming, isn’t it?
Tourist: Oh, well. We’re headed uptown. What do you think my chances of seeing Woody Allen are?
Girl: Very slim.
–Manhattan-bound 4 train