Hobo putting hand on Justin Tim­ber­lake look-alike’s shoul­der: Oh, shit! It’s Justin Tim­ber­lake, every­body!
Look-alike: Uh, what?
Tourist teeny­bop­per: Can I have your au­to­graph, please?
Look-alike: I’m not Justin Tim­ber­lake.
Tourist teeny­bop­per: But you are.
Hobo, to look-alike: Dude, you work with me here, okay? We’ll do busi­ness. [To train] Ten bucks for Justin Tim­ber­lake’s au­to­graph, every­one! For 20 bucks he’ll dance for you.
Tourist teeny­bop­per: I have five dol­lars…
Hobo: We’re in busi­ness!
Look-alike: I’m go­ing to kill you.
Hobo, to look-alike: Damn, this is the best plan I’ve ever come up with! Ex­cept for the time I tried to sell Lind­say Lo­han’s piss for 20 bucks. Well, it was ac­tu­al­ly my own piss. I think God put me on this Earth to fuck with peo­ple.

–4 train