Suit in sun­glass­es: This en­tire plat­form smells like a hith­er­to un­known species of ass.

–D train plat­form, 34th St

Ag­ing hip­ster on cell: At worst, you emit a gen­er­al smell. If peo­ple no­tice it, I don’t think they as­so­ciate it with you.

–Worth St & W Broad­way

Loud woman: Yo, where you at? I can smell your breath, but I can’t see your face!

–Shoe store

Drunk chick in room of fe­males: It smells like pe­nis in here.

–Pi2 Lounge, W 12th & Surf Ave

Over­heard by: Iou­lia Fe­doro­va

Teen on cell: Dude, they kicked me off cam­pus! Be­cause they said I smelled like I was high. I mean, I am a lit­tle high, but I don’t smell like it!

–Stuyvesant High

Fat man: Why did­n’t any­one call Pat­ty* and tell her that her breath stinks?

–Vic­to­ry Hos­pi­tal

Over­heard by: Suqua­ia

Guy, smelling girl’s armpit: Man, that’s bru­tal! But I kin­da like it…