Archive for the ‘A-List’ Category

Thank God the Wednes­day One-Lin­ers’ Strike Is Over

Chick on cell: We can’t let Blair and Tootie con­trol our lives!

–LIRR

Over­heard by: Poo­gins

Home­less crazy black guy to three scared white girls in their twen­ties: Time is crazy. Oh man, what time is “Des­per­ate House­wives” on?!

–10th Street & 3rd Ave

Large lati­no: Yo, it was so good last night, I mean I can’t be­lieve you missed it. It was the best episode I’ve seen yet, se­ri­ous­ly bro… Well the main thing that hap­pened was Hei­di tried to apol­o­gize to LC and she was all like: “I wan­na for­get you!” I was like: “Whaaaaaat? For re­al?” It was crazy, you got­ta catch it!

–Times Square Of­fice Build­ing

Over­heard by: SU­SAN

Red­head: The “Brady Bunch” world is a world with­out urges.

–Ve­niero’s, 11th St be­tween 1st & 2nd

Over­heard by: Ur­su­la & Winifred

Mus­cu­lar guy: He comes up to me talk­ing all this shit, say­ing that he’ll bring it. Bring what? He’s not gangs­ta like I am, he ain’t thug like me. Skin­ny moth­er­fuc­ka looks like a damn burnt-out Screech.

–On the Bus

Ful­some girl with bad dye job: I’m like: “I watch ‘Law and Or­der: SVU’, I’m not get­ting in your van.”

–15th be­tween 6th and 7th

Over­heard by: Dis­union­square

Aries Spears, in line for an Ash­lee Simp­son au­to­graph: I’m the black guy from MADtv! [Grabs a ran­dom girl’s cam­era and snaps a pic­ture of them to­geth­er and walks away.]

–Vir­gin Mo­bile Mega Store, Times Square

Wednes­day One-lin­ers Are Koo Koo

Hobo: Was it right to be kicked out of a house for be­ing an adult with a child mind? You don’t get it, la­dy. There’s a whole house of adults with child minds. What­ev­er. See ya! Would­n’t want to be ya!

–F train

Queer: He to­tal­ly has to un­der­stand that he’s crazy and that those Martha Stew­art peo­ple are crazy too!

–27th street of­fice

Crazy la­dy: Well, I think you should give me my mu­si­cal in­stru­ments back be­cause I know that you’ve been steal­ing them every day for the last nine years. Yes, I’m sure! I have proof. You see, that’s not mu­sic. That’s not rock and roll. That’s just crazy.

–Bed­ford Av­enue sta­tion

Over­heard by: Greg Rut­ter

Crazy man: I al­ready told you I don’t have no chick­en. Be­sides, I gave you that tree last week.

–54th & 11th

Crazy woman: I’ve got demons be­hind me, shit next to me, and the ug­ly ones in front of me. I need an an­gel above me.

–World Fi­nan­cial Cen­ter

Over­heard by: Dr. Bal­lon

Crazy bag la­dy: Stay away from the peo­ple! Stay away from the id­iot Mex­i­cans!

–Union Square

Over­heard by: Kaitlen

Suit: …and I swear to God, man, the whole time? That creepy deaf-mute babysit­ter from across the hall?…is watch­ing me.

–46th & 8th

Over­heard by: ballpeen ham­mer

Crazy la­dy: I don’t be­lieve this. Pussyass son of a fuck­ing fag­got!

–Lex­ing­ton & 23rd

Hobo: Would some­one please tell Court­ney Love to get her god­damned dick out of my mouth? Thank you! Would some­one please tell Court­ney Love to get her god­damned dick out of my mouth? Thank you! Would some­one please tell Court­ney Love to get her god­damned dick out of my mouth? Thank you!

–19th be­tween 7th & 8th