Archive for the ‘A-List’ Category

Much Wis­er Not to Ar­gue It

Cashier: I’m sor­ry, but weren’t you in that movie? With Kevin Cost­ner?
Joan Allen: Yes, The Up­side of Anger. Thanks.
Cashier: I knew it was you! Last time you was in here I kept star­ing ’cause I knew it was you — re­mem­ber, I was star­ing at you? You was so good in that!
Joan Allen: Oh, thank you, I’m glad you en­joyed it [pays and leaves].
Cashier to next la­dy in line: Yeah, last time she was in here I stared at her for­ev­er — she must have thought I was crazy.
La­dy in line: What movie was she in?
Cashier: ‘The Oth­er Side… of the An­gel,’ with Kevin Cost­ner! She was that la­dy!
La­dy in line: I nev­er saw that movie. I thought she was on Lost. I thought she was the la­dy on Lost — you know, the teacher.
Cashier: Nah, she was in that movie! ‘The Oth­er Side of the An­gel.‘
La­dy in line: The Up­side of Anger?
Cashier: No! It’s called ‘The Oth­er Side of the An­gel,’ look it up!
La­dy in line: Oh. Nev­er seen it.

–Du­ane Reade, 94th & Broad­way

Over­heard by: Caro

Wednes­day One-Lin­ers Have at Least One Mar­ketable Skill

Prag­ma­tist: I fig­ure if I don’t get a job in pub­lish­ing, I’ll be­come a video vix­en.

–Dunkin’ Donuts, Dit­mars Blvd, As­to­ria

Over­heard by: Chris­tine

Skank: No way! I am not one of those girls. I am not a video girl…I am a dancer!

–34th & 8th

Over­heard by: Skye

Ditz: Sup­pos­ably [sic], she’s go­ing to be danc­ing in some Be­y­once video. She’s so stu­pid.

–54th St be­tween 9th & 10th

Me­dia schol­ar: Well it’s dif­fer­ent when the girl get­ting fucked in the video is the same age as you. I mean, that’s great when you’re 15.

–20th & 8th

You’re Not Ex­act­ly Sid­ney Poiti­er Your­self, Smart Guy.

Drunk girl on cell, pass­ing Hugh Grant: Yeah, I know, right? Oh, wait, there’s Hugh Grant.
(Hugh Grant turns around)
Drunk girl to Hugh Grant: Wow, you’re a shit­ty ac­tor!
Brad Gar­rett, point­ing and laugh­ing at Hugh Grant: Ha­ha­ha­ha­ha­ha!

–72nd St & Broad­way

Over­heard by: Sarah

Wednes­day One-Lin­ers May Give You Gas

Guy to girl: You’re go­ing to re­gret it for the rest of your life if you get the wrong sal­ad.


Over­heard by: Con­fab­u­la­tion Na­tion

Slen­der wait­ress to two large cus­tomers: Make sure you fin­ish *all* of that! Es­pe­cial­ly the cel­ery. That’s my fa­vorite part! (they look in dis­gust)

–Ap­ple­bee’s, As­to­ria

Yo­ga clothes-clad girl, loud­ly to friend: It is not a veg­etable. It’s a legume!

–6th Ave & W 12th St

Man to woman: So I sayz, “La­dy, you’re my cup­pa tea al­right, but I like the oc­ca­sion­al cu­cum­ber, if you know what I’m sayin’…”

–Her­ald Square

Over­heard by: Mi­ra

Gay guy: I saw peo­ple com­ing out of the woods and I was like, “Agh­hh! Corn chil­dren!”

–8th & 45th

Over­heard by: i’d be scared, too

Sarah Jes­si­ca Park­er’s son: Do you know what kind of let­tuce she likes?

–Wash­ing­ton Square

Over­heard by: Brooke