Archive for the ‘Abortion’ Category

Wednesday One-Liners and the People Who Love Them

Marketing girl: Would you like to try a new perfume? It's for you and your pet!

–Bryant Park, Outside Fashion Week Tents

Overheard by: jycho

Girl: I told my mom that I would probably be alone for the rest of my life. Yesterday she sent me an e-mail with a link to petfinder.com.

–Student Center, Barnard

Overheard by: Kristine

Man trying to sell comedy club tickets: Cheaper than an abortion! More entertaining than the crucifixion! More fun than euthanizing your pets!

–50th Ave & Broadway

Overheard by: Colleen

Queer on cell: Well, women are just pets for straight men.

–E 10th St

Woman on cell: So are you going to tell your daughter that you ate her pet?

–20th St & 1st Ave

Overheard by: Jesse S G

A Woman's Right to Wednesday One-Liners

Angry black woman: Why these motherfuckers always wearing "right for life" buttons, philosophizing and shit?

–Dallas BBQ, Brooklyn Heights

Overheard by: Mike H

Student: Aborting your baby is so boring now. Everyone does it.

–Bard High School Early College

Drunk loud teenage Latina: Ladies and gentlemen, I am a minority and I have never had an abortion!

–N Train

Overheard by: g-lime

Man on cell: Oh… Oh shit… Well, can't you just take a wire hanger and pull it out? Yeah, just stick the hanger in and pull it right out! Okay? Okay. Bye.

–Staten Island Ferry

Overheard by: marge

Fabulous gay guy: So, my coworkers at Olive Garden all wanted to go out for a picnic one day. Our one friend had to work though, so we told her to tell our boss she needed to go get an abortion and she actually did it!

–Life Cafe, Avenue B & 10th St

Overheard by: Rachel W.

If Fox News Writers Scripted a Teen Drama

15-year-old girl #1: Are you talking politics over there? Just shut up!
15-year-old girl #2: Yeah we are–it's all about Obama.
15-year-old girl #1: What is Obama doing for me?
15-year-old girl #2: What is Obama doing for you?! I'll tell you. He's out there, trying to fight for health care to cover all of us. That abortion you need–you shouldn't have to pay for it. That shit should be covered. None of this abstinence shit.

–A Train

Overheard by: Elana

So You Should Probably Stop Making Out with Her

Hipster girl: You know Mabel’s dead, right?
Hipster boy: [Snickers.]

–9th St & Ave B

Overheard by: Rebecca Katherine Hirsch

Headline by: troy

Runners-Up:

· “And hen I heard about 9/11 I laughed so hard the milk came out my nose” – David Reitmeyer

· “If I Knew You Were Going To Take That Attitude, I’d Never Have Named The Fetus” – ED

· “Stan never thought about the awkward exchange AFTER you put your girlfriend’s cat in the microwave” – alexcalibur

· “There are people named mabel who are still ALIVE?!” – mimi marquez


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