Drunk fan: Martin Brodeur fucked his sister-in-law.
Sober pisser: That’s worse than OJ Simpson.
Drunk fan: Yeah, he’s French Canadian.
–Madison Square Garden bathroom
Overheard by: TrueBlue
Archive for the ‘About Celebrities’ Category
And When Did Rue McClanahan First Outsexy Her?
Girl #1: Today is Madonna’s birthday!
Girl #2: 60th?
–Office, 47th & 5th
I Think You Just While-You-Were-Outed Yourself
Hipster #1 (after five minutes of riding in silence): I so wanna fuck Chayse Dacoda.
Hipster #2: You've just gotten so weird since you got cable.
–F Train
Wednesday One-Liners Are Rumored to Be Involved with Jennifer Aniston
Woman: I’m a real Star Trek fan. I particularly like this one guy, a Shakespearean actor — Patrick, uh, Patrick Swayze?
–B train
Loud guy on bike: Will gone up and left! Will Smith! Where’d you go, Will?!
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: Abram
Suit on cell: I mean, it was maybe the only time I ever wanted to give Mark Wahlberg a blowjob.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Rainey
Blonde on cell, walking dog, and wearing faux fur sweater: Yeah, Animal Fair… Like Vanity Fair, but with animals… It’s coming out soon… It’s going to be intimate — Sharon Stone and Emelio Estevez are going to be there!
–55th St & 9th Ave
Overheard by: francesca
Passerby: Martin Short? Is he still in that?
–Across street from Martin Short: Fame Becomes Me
Overheard by: Jeff of [tos]
Chick drops cocktail glass, breaking it.
Queer: If you didn’t look like Winona Ryder, I’d smack you.
–Ceilo nightclub
Putting the Man Back in Mandarin
Guy #1: No, he’s a draq queen not a trannie; he didn’t get it cut off.
Guy #2: So then RuPaul must be the most famous drag queen ever, man…
Guy #1: Probably not.
Guy #2: Who, then? Like…Fu Manchu?
–52nd & 6th
NewsFlash: Post/Law Enforcement Conspiracy Uncovered
Post street vendor: Paris Hilton out of jail! New York Post!
Passerby: If he said that slag was back in jail, I'd even stoop to buying a Post.
–43rd & Lex
And Only Godzilla Can Save Us!
College girl #1: I can't believe you don't know Allison, she's infamous!
College girl #2: Well, Jesse James is infamous but I don't know him either.
College girl #1: Jesse James is dead. Allison is the mega-slut on our floor!
–Barnard College
Overheard by: even i know her
Batman and Robin Was the Greater Tragedy
Blonde: I think I’m going to donate money to that thing George Clooney was talking about.
Friend: What?
Blonde: Darfur.
–Pratt Institute, Brooklyn
Overheard by: betty machete
V for Velveeta
Guy: So I was invited to a party at Natalie Portman’s apartment, and–
Girl: Natalie Portman from The Facts Of Life?
–46th & Vanderbilt
Overheard by: longtimelistener
What? Dead? He Didn’t Deserve That!
Friendly young clerk: It’s terrible news about Vonnegut, isn’t it?
Old woman: I think he deserved to be fired! He shouldn’t be saying that racist stuff on the radio!
–Thrift Shop, 23rd & 3rd