Archive for the ‘About Celebrities’ Category

Wednesday Hold-on-There's-Someone-on-the-Other-Liners

60-year-old man on cell: I want you to do a big fave for me, okay? Call my aunt's house. If my aunt picks up, hang up.

–B4 Bus

Overheard by: Victoria Tarasova

Dude on cell: No, it's okay, my cellphone is attached to my hand. It's part of my hand!

–Restaurant Bathroom, 7th Ave

Overheard by: Duncan Pflaster

NYU guy on cell, snottily: No wait, wait… Is it full because you keep leaving them for me and I never bother to listen? (pause) Voicemail is a dead technology, dad.

–Bus

Overheard by: liz

Woman on crutches: People think I'm talking on one of those Bluetooth-headphone-cell phones. Nah. I'm just talking to myself. Pfft! I ain't got no cell phone! I just talk to myself! That's right!

–Food Stamp Office, 14th St

Overheard by: Erica Schreiner

African American man on cell: I gotta go. I got Richard Simmons on the other line.

–30th St & Madison Ave

Overheard by: mike v

Jelly Roll Wednesday One-Liners

Chick: … So she had sex with both Rush Limbaugh and Bernie Kerik? Ewww, I wouldn’t want to be her vagina!

–10 E 53rd St

Overheard by: I thought ewww, too

Fat latina: You mean it don’t shake and jump up and down? Girl, what kinda clit do you have?

–Stanton & Clinton

Old guy sweeping sidewalk: You won’t see me begging for no pussy. No way.

–118th & 5th

Overheard by: robin b

Girl in skirt to boy, both standing in the cold: If you could see my undercarriage right now you would see that it’s quivering.

–21st & Broadway

Guy on cell: Yeah, girl. Well, just wait, ’cause I’m gonna terrorize your pussy tonight.

–Flatbush Ave, Brooklyn

Overheard by: Peter Rice

Lesbian: … So I was like, ‘Fine, bitch. You can shove your own fucking fingers up your own fucking cooch. I’m going to put on my clothes and sit in the corner and change my Facebook status…’

–Restroom, Stuyvesant High School

Teen boy: I ate too much pussy. Now I have pussy poisoning.

–Penn Station

Overheard by: sara swank